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At this point in his career, Rick Ross is a lesson in contradictions and why it’s always best to own up to past mistakes or lies (read: correctional officer situation). In the midst of his latest Detroit concert uproar, iHipHop thought it would be interesting to look at the 7 Funniest Rick Ross Interview Quotes of All-Time.

1. KING OF THE JUNGLE

In talking about his recent troubles at a Detroit concert (where Ross was allegedly prevented from performing by an angry mob), Ross had this to say:

“In the jungle, you don’t lock the lions out, you let the lions in and lock ‘em in!”

Wow…this is no way at all how jungles work. Animals that live in the jungle (you know, jungle meaning wide open, uncontrolled space) are not typically locked in…is Rick Ross thinking of a zoo?

2. IS THAT BREAKFAST?

In an interview with Bon Appetit, Ross spoke on what a typical breakfast might look like for the boss of all bosses:

“There’s a steakhouse in Miami called Prime One Twelve. I order three entrées that I know I’m not gonna finish, and save the lobster bisque for the following morning.”

Yeah so while you’re over here eating ridiculous things like eggs and cereal for breakfast, Rozay is over here cleaning out a nice light bowl of lobster bisque.

3. MISCONWHAT?

On his beef with Young Jeezy, Rick Ross chalks it all up to something…that isn’t a word:

“It was a lot of misconfusion at the end of the day because me and his personally never had an issue and I think that was one of the reasons we were able to really resolve this problem because we never really personally had an issue…”

When you look up misconfusion in the dictionary you will find that word…doesn’t exist…neither does BAWSE.

4. THIS IS IRRESPONSIBLE

Awhile ago, Rick Ross sat down with Power 105′s The Breakfast Club to talk about, amongst other things, money…and about having a lot of money…and how he has so much money he can’t even find things:

“The Ferraris are in abundance. I don’t know where the keys at.”

Do I need to explain why this line is included? Should I believe anything this guy says?

5. NO, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU’RE SAYING

Things you need to stay in touch with: your parents, your wife/girlfriend, spirituality…things you don’t describe as “staying in touch with” – marijuana:

“Man, you need to stay in touch with your marijuana more often. You know what I’m saying?”

No Rick Ross…I don’t.

6. DON’T DO THIS – EVEN IF RICK ROSS TELLS YOU TO

Rick Ross has dispensed some great knowledge to us in the past. He has told us why it’s ok to consume nothing but chicken wings and fried food, he made it cool to be a C.O. before ‘Orange Is The New Black’ and he has repeatedly made it clear that while you may have made millions upon millions off cocaine, it’s still profitable to release Rap albums…but this little suggestion from a GQ interview I’m highly recommending you stay away from:

“…for Christmas go get yourself an MMG tattoo”

Unless you ARE Rick Ross don’t do this…don’t even do this if your name is Rockie Fresh. Actually, especially don’t do this if your name is Rockie Fresh.

7. PIZZA THIEF

In an interview with Dazed, Rick Ross talked about how before making music, he was still very much the Teflon Don, albeit while in elementary school:

“Even before making music I was always someone that you had to get to know, at school or elementary. I walked the hallways. I would take your pizza”

The pizza theft part I believe but it leaves me with one question: Why would I want to get to know someone that stole my pizza? Also, was there anyone you HAD to get to know in elementary school? It’s not like you looked at little Tommy in the corner eating a peanut butter sandwich and said to yourself “This guy here is someone that I really need to get to know and do business with…right after I finish playing with these blocks.”