What’s the world coming to?  It seems like every other day there’s some mass animal death.  Last week it was 200 steers in Wisconsin and a few days ago, 10,000 cattle were found dead in Vietnam.  There’s no doubt that this is weird, and while scientists have linked these deaths to infectious diseases like “acute interstitial pneumonia,” I don’t believe them.  I only trust two men two give me the hard facts – and that’s Cam’ron and Freekey Zekey.

The USDA has stated that they were involved in the death of 300 birds, but the circumstances surrounding the other mass bird deaths is still a mystery.  Zekey gave the best explanation I’ve heard, alleging “we was testing war heads.”  Cam chimed in with some equally relevant info: “I know cattles is mammals…we’s some mammals.”  He then said the ending of the world’s going to be like the movie Deep Impact. After hearing that brilliant declaration, I will definitely be enrolling in Cam’ron’s biology class at Harlem Institute For Straight Thugs next semester.