The Double Standards Of Sex In Music

 |  December 3, 2010
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Two videos recently dropped in which artists expressed their sexuality.  I championed one artist for their work, and vilified the other.  What was the difference?  One was done by a man, and the later was done by a woman.  I began to think about if that was fair?  The answer is no, but my reaction to those videos tend to be the norm in America culture.

They even reacted to it differently.  Raheem caught up with Vibe about the video and even spoke on Keri:

  • You’ve never done a video before close to this erotic, what was your motivation?
    I wanted to create an image that was tasteful, but cutting edge, provocative, grown… real. I wanted to have people guessing and jaw-dropping. I knew it was going to be big but I didn’t guess all this. I was curious to see just how many people are checking for me, but it looks like a lot of people are.

    Ha! I think it’s safe to say you have a love of giving oral sex. Is that something every man should be doing in 2010?
    Let me say this, if you don’t do that, she’ll find someone that will [laughs]. And in these days it might be her best friend. If your girl is clean and deserving, why not? The best sex is between two givers… that’s off the chain. If you know how to do it properly, you will thoroughly enjoy the fruits of your labor [laughs]

    What do you say to those who think this is all a quick way to gain attention?

    It’s not a moment of desperation. Technically there ain’t no records to sell. It’s a free mixtape. I paid for the video to be shot myself. It’s just another way for me to display my artisty. I’m constantly reinventing myself. It’s a constant thing that I do. No diss to any of my homies, but I pay very close attention to what people say about me. I maybe saw five negative comments out of thousands. And whats interesting is it was from dudes. But I made this for women. I made this for a woman to say that’s how I want to be loved down. And for the brothers who do ride with me I made it for them to say yeah that’s how I put it down.

    Coincidentally, Keri Hilson also premiered a sexually-charged music video this week that caught people off guard. Except I think she might’ve received more flack than you.
    I haven’t seen her video yet, but I’ve seen some of the comments. Someone created a blog page on just me and her. They had our pictures up like mug shots like how does this dude go from “Customer” to this? Easy. It’s art man, don’t take it so seriously. I’m a fan of Keri. Unfortunately for women though, if they decide to be promiscuous they’re going to get a bad rap. It is what it is. We all know that. But hopefully it was her decision. If she’s cool with it, I’m cool with it.

His tone seems kind of relaxed.  More importantly the tone of the interviewer (read the whole thing) was more complimentary as opposed to critical.

Keri reacted slightly different to her criticism.  She caught up with Perez Hilton and said the following:

  • Perez, I don’t want to be held and caressed every night. Sometimes, I do want to be f*cked. You want it good sometimes. I’m talking about one man in the relationship, not being a slut or a whore or being paid to do things. It is racy but I can’t allow other people or the media to dictate what I can or can not do. TLC didn’t do that, Josephine Baker didn’t do that, Janet didn’t do that, Madonna didn’t do that. We can’t approach art from a fear perspective. You have to be fearless and stand for what you believe in. I’m a freak, it’s no surprise. I’ve been a freak in other songs. I’ve been a freak in other videos and we should make no apologies.

I think that her point is highly valid.  Sometimes a girl just wants to get f*cked.  They can have the right to that perspective particularly while being in a monogamous relationship.  However that is not how people and more importantly the media are going to interpret the lyrics in her video.  A headline involving the fact Keri Hilson basically just wants to get f*cked is going to garner more attention.  So that is what the media is going to run with.  People are not going to take in the possible context of that sort of commentary. People are going to concentrate on the fact Keri wants to get drilled now and again as opposed to the fact a woman is making an empowering statement about sex.  A reaction that tends to be championed by…WOMEN!  It never ceases to amaze me that I see women consistently react to the news that a girl has slept with a man with “she is such a slut!”.  Statements like that tend to reek of jealously.

I’m just saying that it is the reality of American culture.  So women have to be prepared to deal with higher standards when it comes to their protrayal of sex.  Just like how I have to be prepared to pay for everything when I take a girl out.  It’s called life.  It ain’t fair.