I’ ve been going pretty ham with the #SlutWave shenanigans on twitter. I can tell that some females may feel a certain way about such terminology. Then some on point commentary inspired me to break down the #Wave. One of my favorite new artists, Jhene Aiko, laid this on Vibe.
- You have a track with Miguel that is very relatable called “Hoe” that’s basically about women being bold sexually and hoping the guy doesn’t think she’s a hoe. Do you think women should be the aggressor when it comes to sex and relationships?
I think if a woman is feeling aggressive, she should be aggressive and not hold back. Go for what she wants, you know? There’s nothing wrong in knowing exactly what you want and pursuing it. As long as we are responsible with our bodies and actions, it shouldn’t be a problem. The double standard doesn’t exist to me. If a woman can be a hoe, then so can a man. If a woman can be a bitch then so can a man! [Laughs] Labels don’t exist anyways.
- “Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your sh*t. That’s fun to me…I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned – you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I’d rather have him use his hands.
“I think I’m a bit masochistic. [***the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation]. I love feeling like I’m somebody’s girl. I think that is common in people who witnessed abuse in their childhood.”
Now this commentary hits a couple aspects of what the #SlutWave represents. It’s really modern day feminism. Women are more in control of their financial and sexual freedom than they have ever been in American history. And they aren’t afraid to exploit it.
That’s when I realized something. This is just what guys do. Not necessarily in committed relationships but openly having sex with people of their choice. Being open about their conquests both good and bad in everyday social conversations. This is wear lines can get blurry.
For example, I was recently hollering at this girl. Well educated, 80K a year corporate job, stylish, well spoken, and beautiful. We were talking about relationships, and she was unsure not only if she would ever get married. But if she could “only be with one guy” for the rest of her life. Boom! Kind of a weird thing to say. Especially when she clearly knew I was trying to holler. But that was her outlook on things, and she was comfortable enough with this stance to tell it to dudes who are trying to hook up with her. This is part of the #Wave I can’t be that mad at. She is a financially and emotional independent woman in NYC. Although I may not gain exclusive access to her love tunnel, it isn’t fair for me to hate her for doing the exact same thing I’m doing. Plus it’s not like she is just hopping on random penis. She may just have an exclusive rotation of high end man pole for herself to ride. Plus she is being forthright about her sexual activity from the jump. Honesty gets you pretty far in my book.
However, there is the flip side to the #SlutWave. There are the thirsty girls who are perpetually unemployed, and aspire to be professionally pretty while only being moderately attractive. They hang out in nightclubs smelling of Patron shots and desperation in heavy logo based “luxury” goods before they go home with random guys who are only associating with them because they need someone to suck the poison out. T.I. actually did a pretty dope record on this species of females. These girls have f*cked up priorities and concentrate on what a man represents as opposed to who he really is. Plus they have a tendency to not only be completley dishonest to men, but to themselves. Now I am mad at this part of the #Wave. Girls like this need find a father figure or some redeeming qualities.
Now as a man, I’m a little intimidated by the #SlutWave. Regardless of which version you are surfing, guys like to think we are the only one riding a particular wave. We like to think that our board is bigger and better than everyone elses. We like to think that our board is the only board the #Wave needs to be satisfied. However it’s looking like the #SlutWave might have the last laugh. We might need the #Wave more than they need us. That’s what really scares me.