Either Hov has some extracurricular friends who are getting waaaaaaay out of pocket or this broad cray. We like to think it’s both but the evidence won’t skew in one direction. She doesn’t use her own name to boost this track’s profile, so we won’t either. “Mrs. Carter” is the scream from the abyss of fifteen lost minutes of fame infamy. This is a blow to the Main Chicks and Wifey party. One it may not ever bounce back from. Video after the jump.



Wuuuuuuuuuuuuut….was that? Some 1999-esque Remy Ma fresh outta jail struggle bars and about 1 minute of passive aggressive shit talking. Clearly, Liv’s music career is here to stay.

Jay Z’s alleged side piece souped up on the Pinot Noir? Shooting a video in the hush money purchased apartment? Yoncé is enlisting Nicki Minaj to talk about her marriage being good money even though it’s low-key-not-so-low-key exploding before us? The “Flawless” remix is talking about a fight on an elevator and a billion dollars being at stake? The only thing certain: this is not nothing.

It’s not pernicious Ebola virus flown in from the dark continent.

It’s not paparazzi boogie men rifling through garbage for shredded tax returns.

But it’s not nothing.

Hov might be taking liberties with his post-retirement run but no one expected this mess. With Beyoncé at your side, always ready to SERFBORT (after she gets back from 8 months of touring) why run wild? The Institution of Bey and Hov is going through rightful growing pains. The way Hov is handling mid-life crisis — up to now pristine — has just taken a brutal downturn. At press time, Liv is a household name in Marcy Projects. Nations rise and fall on the strength of Side Piece YouTubes.

Beyoncé gotta be like

The Jay Z love affair rumors are innumerable. Maybe he was sharing a chick with Tiger Woods? Who knows? The impossible is possible.

Ever so lightly we tread into overt subliminal lyrics from one to the other. Next thing you know Jay’s using lawyers to get Blue Ivy’s 9th birthday in Ibiza when Bey’s already planned a 40-person slumber party in Malibu.

Can’t get too far ahead but… if this divorce thing goes down, gonna cry real tears bruhs.

It’s not just about y’all. Think of Will and Jada…Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union…you representing an endangered species but brought the whole wildlife reserve along with you. We need you to be married no matter what Liv does to rock the boat. She’s obviously gotten what she wants from it already.

Let’s go back to ’04 Bonnie & Clyde. You ready, B? Hov’s gonna promise to be more discreet or he won’t get to play at all. You can go back to touring. Hopefully, we can look the other way while everyone has a nice time.

And we can all put this basura video in the corner where it belongs.