You peep the Grammy’s this past weekend? I did. I usually hate award shows. Long, boring, bloated with a sense of self-indulgence. All that. Pink’s performance was cool, her in a thong type ‘5th Element’ get up, swinging all over the effin place, sanging, getting her ass dipped in water, that was cool. Taylor Swift killing it with the wins, I’m still tryna figure out what all that hype is about her. Blame Kanye for having mainstream America feeling all sorry for that poor victimized white girl. Black Eyed Peas looking a straight mess. For the record, I hate the BEP’s, but cot-dammit do I love alotta their singles. I also dug the insane coonish type perfomance that was Jaimie Foxx singing “Blame It (On The Alcohol)”, along with T Pain, Dougie Fresh, famed guitarist Slash and that fat chick from Precious. Dunno what the eff she was doing on stage, what the connection was, but I’m guessing with all the success she’s garnered from her performance in that ‘Precious’ flick, the suits must’ve figured “let’s throw her in the mix”, it being the start of Black History Month. Why the eff not? I was particularly impressed at how her big ass was moving all fast and crazy like, dancing like she was in the Matrix. Fat Girl Matrix. Heh, a new dance. I knew I shouldn’t of, but I really liked that train wreck.

The performance that everyone was waiting for was the highly publicized Michael Jackson tribute. Highly publicized in how it was gonna be in 3-D and all, MJ’s “Earth Song” performed by Usher, Celine Dion, Smokey Robinson, Jennifer Hudson and Carrie Underwood. I didn’t have a pair or 3-D glasses laying around, so the tv screen looked all fuzzy, like I had burned a bowl of trees, only I didn’t. Still, what really threw me off was when they dragged MJ’s kids onstage to receive yet another award on behalf of their deceased dad, not by how they looked awkward as all hell, stumbling through their tele-prompted lines, but how they don’t have one drop of Black blood in their little bodies.

While Paris and Prince Jackson were busy screwing up on stage, I was scrolling through all these Tweets (via Twitter) talking about how cute they looked, how sweet that whole thing was, and a bunch a more sentimental stuff. What I was thinking was there’s no way in hell MJ fathered them kids. I got cousins that’s mixed, some of them even looking white enough to pass, but even still, if you look hard enough at said mixed cousins, something gives their Blackness away. Slightly darker skin, fuller lips, some back of the neck hair that might could use a lil touch up. Paris and Prince? Them kids don’t look like they could catch a tan, on how white they look. European white even. Biologically, people forget that MJ was a really brown dude, with a big black nose. And a big ass afro. Before all the bleaching, plastic surgeries, really great looking hair weaves and supposed Vitiligo disease that Jackson allegedly had. Incidentally, if you type in “skin disease” on Google, the first thing that pops up is Michael Jackson. Really. Getting back to them kids, there’s no way those are dude’s kids. I don’t care how white their momma was.

Which begs the question, where did Michael cop them kids from? No question dude was sitting on a fortune, but for a Black man in America, how much money did he have to have to be able to buy white kids? Especially since the media killed his image by branding him some type of creepy pederast and what not. White don’t ever play that. I mean, see how ape they go over the welfare of dogs with that Michael Vick thing, there’s no way the powers that be are ever allowing a negro pederast the opportunity to cop little white kids. Plus, don’t they have a lil’ blondish tint? Hell no. Not here on American soil. Even if he adopted them from some podunk eastern European country, mail order like, customs and shit are supposed to be extra stringent with regard to the transportation and distribution of white slaves. And especially, once again, where a Black man is involved. There’s been reports that Jackson’s dermatologist, a white fellow named Arnold Klein is the actual father, even though he’s claiming he’s not. Tell you the truth, I don’t really care whether he is or not. I’m just amazed at how much pull MJ really had to be able to pull that kind of purchase off. Makes me respect him a whole lot more. Not that I didn’t have respect for him, without a doubt Jackson was the greatest performer of my and your generation, the undisputed King Of Pop. I’m saying for a Black man labeled a pederast to be able to purchase over the counter white, thats some major shit right there, pull on that next level. Which makes Michael Jackson way greater than I ever thought he was. That great. Or just him on his Illuminati shit. I’m just saying.