Crash & Burn: Five Reasons Why The New York Jets Will Have Another Losing Season

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Did the New York Jets REALLY call a press conference for their new backup quarterback the other day, Tim Tebow?! Are you serious?! What’s next? Their equipment manager being thrown around in trade rumors?

One thing is true about the Jets, when the toe-sucking head coach, Rex Ryan first got to the Big Apple, the Jets were making strides.

They made it to the AFC Championship game two years in a row, and both times they, came up short.

Just to make it there twice in a row is an accomplishment within itself, due to the fact that there are plenty of teams in the NFL who haven’t reached the playoffs since the Bill Clinton Administration, “PLAYOFFS?!” “PLAYOFFS?!” *Jim Mora voice* But since coming up short one game of the Super Bowl in back-to-back seasons, the Jets have faltered, and their preverbal bark has become more than their bite.

Now with the new season gearing up, and them being forced to see their cross-town rivals, the New York Giants flaunting their new Super Bowl jewelry, Gang Green is fighting back by adding the world’s biggest Christian to their roster, Timothy Richard Tebow. Bringing in the guy who ESPN’s Merril Hodge loves (that’s sarcasm if you didn’t notice) won’t help Jets one bit, and here are five reason why:


1. Having a press conference for someone who has yet to prove himself, and probably never will isn’t a good thing. As a backup quarterback, your only job in life is to carry around a clipboard, and keep the NFL cap that you wear clean, since you and your helmet won’t see any action on the field.

2. If Timmy does get into the game, everyone knows it’s going to be a run package, even people that don’t watch football know that. So if they all know, then so do the defensive coordinators of the opposing teams.

3. Making a spectacle by bringing in another guy at the QB position while your starting QB, Mark Sanchez is stealing $58 Million Dollars from you already isn’t a good thing. Quarterbacks are the prima donnas of the league, always crying and complaining that someone is out to take their job. So no matter how good both quarterbacks’ PR answers are to the press, that atmosphere alone will create tension in the locker room.

4. Tebow Mania might have worked in Denver, but here in New York, if you don’t produce as a professional athlete, (which Timmy won’t) the people of this great city will crucify you faster than you can say Passion Of The Christ

5. The NFL is the ultimate team sport, because it takes players on both sides of the ball to make plays. So when you have a single player hogging all the glory, while doing absolutely nothing to deserve it, it can take away from team chemistry, and without that team chemistry, you can look forward to the Jets having another dismal season.